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The Drama Triangle

In this episode, we examine the drama triangle, a powerful psychological model developed by Stephen Karpman in the 1960s within Transactional Analysis. The model illustrates how people in conversations and conflicts often—unconsciously—step into fixed roles: Victim, Persecutor, or Rescuer.

These three roles reinforce each other and sustain the dynamic. The Victim feels powerless, evades responsibility, and points to others. The Victim can even exert power by accusing others or demanding help, making it a particularly attractive position. The Persecutor adopts an accusing or aggressive stance and operates according to the principle “I’m OK, you’re not OK.” And the Rescuer appears to act nobly by offering help, but often does so uninvited and from the conviction that the other person cannot do it themselves. In doing so, they confirm the victimhood and undermine growth and responsibility.

The power of the model lies in its relatability. Everyone has experienced situations where these three roles were present: in families, in teams, in the workplace, and in politics and society. Consider the father who feels like a victim because dinner isn’t ready, the mother who reacts as a persecutor by lashing out in anger, and then perhaps ends up in the victim role herself. Or think of discussions at work or in the media where groups present themselves as victims, label others as persecutors, and seek support from rescuers. Roles shift rapidly, causing conversations to become deadlocked and leading to polarization.

It is important to note that Karpman speaks about psychological positions, not about factual victims or perpetrators. Of course, actual victims and perpetrators exist (for example, in a crime), and there, factual rescuers like the police or emergency services are necessary. But in most daily interactions, it concerns subjective experiences: I feel like a victim, I see you as a persecutor, or I assume the role of rescuer. That insight makes the drama triangle so useful for better understanding communication.

The podcast delves deeper into the three roles:

  • Victim: ranging from the dramatic lament (“poor me”), to the angry accusing variant, to learned helplessness. The great advantage of this role is that you do not have to take responsibility—you shift the blame to someone else. Typical behavior includes complaining, accusing, seeking support, or waiting passively.
  • Persecutor: someone who makes reproaches, condemns, or belittles. This can be loud and aggressive, but also subtle and passive-aggressive. The conviction here is: “I'm OK, you're not.”
  • Rescuer: jumps in to help from the conviction that the other person is incapable. Often well-intentioned, but the result is that the other person remains passive and relinquishes responsibility. We see this in the workplace, in parenting, and in societal debates.

A common thread throughout the episode is the question: how do you step out of the drama triangle? The answer begins with awareness. As soon as you recognize yourself in one of the three roles, you can press a pause button and consider: which value or need of mine is being affected here? By investigating that, you take responsibility for your own emotions instead of shifting them onto others.

Additionally, there are other strategies:

  • With a Victim: do not rescue immediately, but ask questions (“What exactly is affecting you? What step can you take yourself?”).
  • With a Persecutor: work on empathy and listen to the 'why' behind the other person's behavior.
  • With a Rescuer: pull the handbrake and first check what help is actually needed, instead of automatically taking everything over.
This creates more space for genuine dialogue, mutual understanding, and constructive solutions. The drama triangle is therefore not just a theoretical model, but a practical compass for better understanding and breaking through stalled conversations and conflicts—at home, at work, and in society.

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Participants develop a different approach to communication in the broadest sense of the word, even when situations become difficult or tense. They experience greater calm, increased self-confidence, and a clearer understanding of how to respond rather than simply react. The difference lies in acting consciously: not being at the mercy of the situation or the conversation, but engaging with it deliberately and with curiosity.
The focus is on individual behaviour change, leading to a noticeable improvement in interactions with colleagues, team members, and clients. Many participants notice the difference during the training itself, with those new behaviours becoming firmly embedded through continued practice in the workplace.
Yes. The content, learning methods, language, and case studies are fully tailored to your organisation and its specific context. Where needed, I take the time to immerse myself in your sector, your roles, or even your workplace. Context shapes how people communicate, collaborate, and make decisions—and that is exactly what shapes the design of every training programme.
Our training programmes are designed for anyone who works with people and is willing to reflect on their own behaviour. They are less effective when participants attend only because they are required to and have little or no willingness to engage. We address this openly from the outset.
Applying new learning in the workplace is central to our approach. Throughout the training, we combine self-awareness with practical exercises based on real-life situations, enabling participants to build confidence through successful experiences. Where appropriate, we provide follow-up support for both participants and the client, identifying together any organisational or contextual barriers that may hinder the transfer of learning into daily practice.
Our training programmes always start from the participants’ own day-to-day reality. We work with their real-life situations, combining reflection, practical exercises, and dialogue. New insights are introduced when they add value—not through classroom-style teaching or PowerPoint-led presentations.
Working with resistance is one of our core strengths. We create a safe and neutral environment, acknowledge what is happening, and explore the needs and concerns underlying the resistance. We never force change. Instead, we create the conditions in which participants can move forward at their own pace and take ownership of their learning.
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Many training programmes focus on skills and techniques. We go a step further by addressing the beliefs, fears, and automatic patterns that shape behaviour. By combining practical skills with deeper behavioural insight, we help people create lasting behaviour change that carries over into their day-to-day work.
We measure impact through observable changes in behaviour. Throughout the programme, we use participant and client feedback, structured reflection, and behavioural observations to monitor progress. For us, success is not measured by how much participants enjoyed the training, but by the extent to which new behaviours are applied and sustained in the workplace.
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