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(VIDEO) How to best deal with setbacks?

You cannot choose what happens to you. You only have control over how you react to setbacks. And that is precisely where the key lies…

Transcript

How do you deal with setbacks? I am asking coach Bart Provost. Bart, how do you deal with setbacks?

You always have a choice and, let’s say, that is the crux of the matter. Because you can, of course, choose to step into a victim role at that moment and say, well, it’s all happening to me, what am I supposed to do about it, I didn’t choose this, and essentially remain stuck in that…

But very often, that is actually the case, isn’t it?

Well, the point is, you naturally have no control over what happens to you. The way you handle it, how you react, that is a completely different story. There is actually a very beautiful saying that goes: you cannot change the direction of the wind, but you can adjust your sails. So, in itself, that means you cannot choose what happens to you. If I drive home later and get a flat tire on the way and it starts pouring, I will probably look a bit like that gentleman over there, but I didn’t choose that.

But then, of course, I could start swearing or ranting loudly; I could fully embrace victimhood—poor me, why does this have to happen to me? Or you can choose: OK, it is what it is, I didn’t choose this and obviously—and this is important—it isn’t pleasant, which you must always dare to admit to yourself: I don’t like this at all, but OK, let’s see how we will deal with it and whether we can handle it in a different way.

And what does that get you?

A great deal of freedom. That might sound very strange now, but actually, from the moment you put yourself in that victim role, you have deprived yourself of your own freedom; you have also deprived yourself of your own responsibility. Freedom and responsibility are actually two sides of the same coin. So in that sense, if you surrender your freedom to what happens to you, well, then you are simply a victim, and you just sit there sobbing or crying in a corner, and that’s where it ends. Whereas if you have the freedom to choose consciously—this is how the situation occurred, and yet I am going to choose to handle it this way—then you create an immense amount of freedom. And you then also have that freedom, that responsibility, to take on your own role and let that bit of victimhood slide off you. And thus, to deal with it in a completely different way. You simply emerge much stronger than if you were to remain stuck in that victimhood.

OK, Bart, thank you for this tip.

My pleasure.

And to you at home, thank you for watching.

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Participants develop a different approach to communication in the broadest sense of the word, even when situations become difficult or tense. They experience greater calm, increased self-confidence, and a clearer understanding of how to respond rather than simply react. The difference lies in acting consciously: not being at the mercy of the situation or the conversation, but engaging with it deliberately and with curiosity.
The focus is on individual behaviour change, leading to a noticeable improvement in interactions with colleagues, team members, and clients. Many participants notice the difference during the training itself, with those new behaviours becoming firmly embedded through continued practice in the workplace.
Yes. The content, learning methods, language, and case studies are fully tailored to your organisation and its specific context. Where needed, I take the time to immerse myself in your sector, your roles, or even your workplace. Context shapes how people communicate, collaborate, and make decisions—and that is exactly what shapes the design of every training programme.
Our training programmes are designed for anyone who works with people and is willing to reflect on their own behaviour. They are less effective when participants attend only because they are required to and have little or no willingness to engage. We address this openly from the outset.
Applying new learning in the workplace is central to our approach. Throughout the training, we combine self-awareness with practical exercises based on real-life situations, enabling participants to build confidence through successful experiences. Where appropriate, we provide follow-up support for both participants and the client, identifying together any organisational or contextual barriers that may hinder the transfer of learning into daily practice.
Our training programmes always start from the participants’ own day-to-day reality. We work with their real-life situations, combining reflection, practical exercises, and dialogue. New insights are introduced when they add value—not through classroom-style teaching or PowerPoint-led presentations.
Working with resistance is one of our core strengths. We create a safe and neutral environment, acknowledge what is happening, and explore the needs and concerns underlying the resistance. We never force change. Instead, we create the conditions in which participants can move forward at their own pace and take ownership of their learning.
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We measure impact through observable changes in behaviour. Throughout the programme, we use participant and client feedback, structured reflection, and behavioural observations to monitor progress. For us, success is not measured by how much participants enjoyed the training, but by the extent to which new behaviours are applied and sustained in the workplace.
Follow-up is always tailored to the client’s needs. This may include reviewing how learning is being applied in the workplace, exploring specific themes in greater depth, or providing individual coaching. Together, we determine what will add the greatest value within your organisational context.
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