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(VIDEO) A compromise is not necessarily the best solution

We often think that a compromise is the most ideal solution for a negotiation. Not so!

Transcript

Kevin

Bart Provost believes that the worst outcome of a negotiation is a compromise.

Bart, why do you consider that the worst possible outcome of a negotiation?

Bart

A compromise is often called a lose-lose, meaning a loss for both parties. It is what we frequently refer to as splitting the difference.

Kevin

Literally, in this case.

Bart

Literally, indeed. And, well, imagine you want something else. That you don’t just want half a pear, but you want to do something else with it. That means that, in effect, you lose half a pear. So that becomes a bit difficult. You could compare it, if we stay with the fruit and vegetable theme, to an orange. You want half and I want half. But perhaps I am only interested in the zest, because I am going to make a chocolate moelleux with a crème anglaise and orange zest. In that case, you can have all the fruit, and I can keep just the zest for myself. Then we are both 100% happy. If we simply cut it in half, then you are only 50% happy—having lost half the fruit—and I am 50% unhappy, because I have lost half the zest.

In that sense, it is often said: a compromise, which in itself is an important negotiation strategy and thus a possible outcome, is not the only one, and it is certainly not the best. It is not a one-size-fits-all solution for every possible negotiation situation. And that is where people often make a mistake.

Kevin

And how should you approach it instead?

Bart

Well, a compromise is perfect in, for example, contexts that are suitable for it. You must always look at the context…

Kevin

Politics.

Bart

Yes, exactly.

Well, politics is actually a very unfortunate example, because it relies exclusively on compromise. This is precisely because of the fundamental orientations people have regarding how to solve problems. All political parties agree that the citizen should benefit, that healthcare should improve, and that ideally everything should be free. But the methods to achieve this are, of course, very difficult. This is also a symptom of how hard it becomes to achieve certain things. So, when parties remain stuck on a very specific point—and look at political parties, they all have platforms with many policy positions—you are left with little choice but to say: ‘Well, you can implement 15 points from your platform, and I can implement 23, because I had more voters and more constituents supporting me.’

With a compromise, it is actually about looking at the context. That is the first thing you must do for any of the various negotiation strategies.

One of the excellent concepts, or even contexts, where you could use a compromise is when you have very little time. You want to go to a café, I want to go to a café, because the broadcast is about to end. Where shall we go? You need to head toward one town, I toward another. Let’s pick somewhere in the middle. That is something that is decided very quickly. So that is an absolute advantage of a compromise.

Kevin

Of course, yes.

Bart

So that is a context in which it is very justified to seek a compromise.

But in many cases, people think it has to be a compromise. For example, in a marriage, in an employer-employee relationship, or among employees in a team—always a compromise. And that is wrong. You are much better off aiming for a win-win than a lose-lose. And so, with a win-win, it is actually about engaging in a dialogue with each other and seeing: ‘Okay, but what exactly do you want? Okay.’

And what is the reason you want that? Okay.

And what would it provide you if you were to get that? Good.

But now I am going to explain what I actually want, why I want it, and what it would provide me.

And when you put those things together, you might arrive at a much better situation.

Imagine this: we are married and going on vacation together. You want two weeks in Benidorm, I want two weeks in the Pyrenees. At that point, you could say—and many people do: ‘Well, then we’ll go to the Pyrenees for a week to do some climbing and hiking, and then we’ll spend a week relaxing in Benidorm.’

Kevin

Yes, a nice compromise.

Bart

Yes, it’s a nice compromise, isn’t it? Until, of course, I start asking you questions: ‘Yes, but why do you want Benidorm?’ Suppose you say: ‘Well, I have such a busy life, I absolutely want rest and I also want a guarantee of sun, because in Belgium you never know.’ And I say: ‘Well, I’m always in the car, in meetings, or talking to a client, so I never move. So I want action and movement.’ Well, then we can much better reach a third solution together, where you have two weeks of rest and guaranteed sun, and I have two weeks of movement. And then it might be that we go to Club Med tomorrow.

And that is the goal of a win-win.

And instead of using a compromise solely as a one-size-fits-all solution for all possible contexts—thereby missing out on many possibilities because you aren’t applying a win-win approach but sticking to that compromise, that lose-lose—you are actually going to miss many opportunities.

And that is the reason why, in fact, a compromise is not necessarily, not by definition, the best solution.

Kevin

So, learning to listen to each other better.

Bart, thank you.

Bart

Absolutely.

Kevin

And to you at home, thank you for watching.

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